Why I Decided To Be Selfish Sometimes

Feb 28, 2018

chicago style blogger

Coat: Nordstrommy exact coat is sold out from Abercrombie but to be honest I like the more fitted silhouette of this one I found after. The color is amazing!Sweater: Nordstrombest basic sweater! You can use it to layer or wear on it’s own and it’s so cozy!Jeans: Levi’sLOVE these! Found them on sale too but they do run big so order down a size!Shoes: EverlaneSunglasses: Ray BanLips: NARS


Learning to be selfish can be hard. I wasn’t great at it before (why do I always say yes to things?!) and am certainly not much better about it since having Zain. If I’ve learned anything since becoming a mom (besides patience and love) it’s that taking time for myself is so crucial. 

In the beginning I continued to avoid the nanny/daycare situation. I was determined to work from home and enjoy motherhood without any outside help. I’m not sure if it was the exhaustion or denial but the thought of looking for a nanny or suitable daycare itself overwhelmed me. We toured a few places I wasn’t in love with and I talked with a few nannies but had a really hard time pulling the trigger. 

Here I was 8 months later with no help (except my wonderful mom who comes up to visit every now and then and is a life saver) and a husband who had been encouraging me to get help since he went back to work. After talking with Kelly for a while, she convinced me to look into their gym. I was having a hard time getting back into working out even though I wanted to and her and Mitch absolutely loved the daycare there. 


Favorite Raw Hem Jeans:


The gym I belonged to previously had daycare and sadly closed it the month I gave birth. I quit that month knowing I would never make it in without him and hadn’t really found a replacement. I finally submitted a form online and Trevor and I called and chatted with someone about the membership. We had both been wanting to work out again and the fact that we could drop Zain off for 2 hours seemed like a miracle. 

We stopped by for the first time over the weekend and were elated to see how loving and sweet the daycare staff was. I felt totally comfortable leaving him and although I was a little sad he could care less I was leaving him, I was ultimately happy he was having a good time and enjoying interacting with the other kids. 

Not only has it served as a lifesaver for me during the week, I can now get some uninterrupted work done. Normally when Zain goes down for a nap I equate it to Supermarket Sweep in  the house. I am frantically trying to get 1000 things done, emails answered and photos edited but probably not doing any one thing well. This allows me work time, me time and a great break during the day. 


Favorite Loafers:


The same thing goes for alone time with Trevor. We weren’t great at it in the beginning (honestly I think we were too tired to go on a date) but have really started to prioritize it. When we ventured home to Louisville early  a few weekends ago my mom offered to watch Zain on her lunch break. Instead of saying no like I normally would, I accepted and Trevor and I enjoyed an afternoon to ourselves. 

I think it’s crucial to make you feel whole again and I think I am a better mom to him when I do. The little time away gives me a breather and allows me to really be present and concentrate on him when I’m with him. I’ve really been trying to be more present in everything I do this year and I think this is a good step in the right direction. 

How do you guys prioritize yourself?


grey winter coat

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everlane loafers

grey abercrombie coat

galaxie louisville

galaxie louisville

Our day date at Galaxie! The homemade chips were amazing and the fried chicken taco was my fav! 

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  1. Archana Bhatt says:

    Hi, great post! I live around you in the wicker park area and have a 3 month old. I have the same issue when it comes to working out at the gym and have been trying to get back into it. Just curious what gym you go to that has the daycare? Might be a good option for me as well. Thanks!

    • shaheen khan says:

      Awww, thank you and congrats!!! We go to Lakeshore Sport and Fitness and I think they allow kids in daycare from 6 weeks on but not positive. Feel free to send me an email if you have any other questions!

  2. Liz says:

    Glad to hear you’re getting back into to Shaheen! I don’t have kids, but I can definitely relate to get out of a routine and the struggle to re-prioritize. Also, love this look. Just purchased your jeans — I love the raw hem. Hope they work out for me 🙂

    • Shaheen Khan says:

      Aww, thanks Liz! I know right? It can be so hard sometimes! Oh, yay – I love them so I hope you do too 🙂