When, Why and Who I Ask For Help

Feb 21, 2018

when to ask moms for help

Oh those early days! Never would have showered without my mom.


Today’s topic is such a fun one for me! Relying on and talking through things with other women, moms and dad’s has been such a lifesaver for us. Before having Zain, Trevor and I spent a great deal of time with my brother’s kids. He has one set of twins (a boy and a girl) and another little girl so our hands were always quite full. 

I think we thought since we had a few years of very hands on experience, we would be fully prepared. Boy were we wrong. I don’t think anything can prepare you for when you bring that newborn home and I found myself relying on Trevor, my mom and mom friends more than I thought I would. Calls, texts, emails you name it and I was sending them. The most amazing thing was that no matter the time or place everyone was so available to talk through things with me and reassure me I was making the right decisions. 

Although Trevor wasn’t able to actually feed during those early round the clock feedings he has always gotten up every step of the way to help, comfort and support me. I’m very lucky to have such a supportive husband and caring dad and he never treats Zain like a chore, but more so the best part of his day. Like always, Trevor is usually my first stop along the anxiety train ha! I have discussed it before but I tend to overanalyze everything in life and entering motherhood hasn’t changed that. Trevor is great at talking me through what matters, what doesn’t and offering good advice. I need that calm in my life! 

Besides Trevor, my mom is my number one source of guidance as I’m sure many other people would say. Not only has she been through it all but much like Trevor she is patient, understanding and always an ear to listen. Honestly even when I have nothing to ask and am just frustrated and at my wit’s end, I call my mom and release it all on her. It helps so much to have someone to just listen and say they understand without trying to fix what probably doesn’t need fixing. I think it’s so crucial to surround yourself with people you can rely on and when people say it takes a village to raise a kid, they aren’t joking

I also rely on my girlfriends like whoa! I have had several nights and days where I have messaged my mom friends to ask for help or advice. Nothing makes you feel better than a little reassurance and knowledge that you aren’t crazy nor the only person going through it! I just reached out to my girlfriend Lauren yesterday and had her talk me off the teething ledge. It provided so much relief to just hear her experience with her son and know I wasn’t doing anything wrong! 

Beyond that, YOU guys are my biggest source of support! I know I’ve said it before but the best part of blogging and Instagram has become sharing my journey to motherhood and now our new life with you guys and hearing about your own! You all have the best advice and Instagram DM’s have become such a fun way to connect with you all, so thank you for that!

Don’t forget to swing by Arin (new to the series!) and Emily’s blogs for a peek at what they think and let me know how you like this motherhood series we have been doing! They are some great mama’s and I always love reading everyone’s different perspectives. 


Who do you all rely on?  



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  1. Emily says:

    Always love your perspective, Shaheen! I’m right there with you on always calling my mom. 😉 Love doing this series with you! xx
    Isn’t That Charming.

  2. Charlene says:

    Yes totally agree! My mom,sister & Mama Friends give me so much comfort & are my support system. Being a first time mom is so stressful & amazing at the same time to expierence this motherhood journey. Can I ask, do you reach out to your mother in law when it comes to advice/concerns?

    • Lorrr says:

      I was wondering the same thing. Do his parents live close? My mother in law lives 2 states away, so unfortunately she wasn’t able to help us out. I found that hard and wished she could be with us. I totally could have used all the help I could have gotten, and it would have given my parents a break. They helped us out so much that first month while I dealt with Post Partum Depression

      • shaheen khan says:

        They don’t live very close at all so are here much less often than my parents! I feel the same way, I wish they were able to be here more because I would love Zain to spend as much time with them as possible! That first month can be so challenging but I hope you and your family are doing well 🙂

    • shaheen khan says:

      Totally agree, it is such a crazy ride! I do – she doesn’t live super close so isn’t around as much as my mom but I call her all the time. She is a PA and sees a lot of kids so anytime I think Zain is sick or something off she is the first person I call!

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