A Few Things I’ve Learned In 10 Years of Marriage

Dec 31, 2021

 

Good Morning and Happy New Year’s Eve!

How was everyone’s holiday break? We had a very relaxing and low key Christmas over here and it was just what we needed. We spent Christmas Eve at my parents and hosted Christmas at our house, most of it was spent in pajamas and I actually removed Instagram from my phone for the weekend which was glorious!

A few highlights before we get into today’s post: the Private Selection Jumbo Cinnamon Rolls they substituted for my tried and true Annie’s were DELICIOUS and will now be my go-to. My Cranberry Holiday Cocktail was a hit with my parents too and we served it without alcohol this time! 

As for today’s post, Happy TEN YEAR anniversary to my boo Trevor. It’s hard to believe it’s been 10 years since in a way I still feel like we are newlyweds and simultaneously like we have been together our whole lives. We aren’t big gift people but love a good experience and we are taking a live cooking class tonight with the owner of Emmy Squared and I can’t wait. In case you are looking for something, Goldbelly has some amazing classes with really talented chefs and they ship everything you need right to you the day before which is so lovely. 

I actually sat down to brainstorm this piece on Christmas Day while the kids were napping and wanted to share a few things that we’ve learned in our ten years and a couple of pieces of advice my parents shared with us. 

 

 

 

Don’t expect your partner to fulfill you

An important lesson I learned early on. Your partner will never complete or fulfill you, that has to come from you. When I would find myself frustrated with our relationship during certain periods over the past 10 years I can almost always attribute those to times when I was personally struggling with either professional fulfillment, the rollercoaster that is Infertility or something else internal. Self fulfillment has to come first for us both!

 

Don’t keep score 

Don’t store away those grievances for a rainy day šŸ˜‰ Make sure to communicate and express yourself in real time. The end game is you both being happy so one of you ‘winning’ or ‘losing’ doesn’t really help anyone. Even though it validates your feelings haha! 

 

 

Make time for date nights and friends nights out 

This is one we have added to our list in recent years which is so essential for us. Getting out for date nights together is a must and not a luxury we schedule once every couple of months now! We crave that adult time together and really need it to reconnect. We’ve also made a point to encourage each other to get together with our small group of friends more. It’s a great release from mom and dad life and neither one of us has ever regretted making space for this!

 

 

Tell them what you want 

No one can read your mind and although it sounds romantic to have a partner that knows your every need, that doesn’t exist. Be honest about what matters to you and be as direct as possible!

 

 

 

Remember you are on the same team 

The best advice my parents ever gave us and one I remind myself of often. The end goal is the same for both of you so work together to get there even when it’s tough. 

 

 

 

We are definitely not experts and all relationships have their ups and downs but I am thankful that we are a team and neither of us ever wavered on our commitment to each other. He really is my best friend and after 10 years our relationship has certainly changed but still feels beautiful! 

 

 

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  1. Melanie B says:

    This is such a great post. Iā€™m getting married in April ā€” such good advice to keep in mind. Congrats on 10 years!!