How To Support A Friend With Infertility

Apr 22, 2019

how to support a friend with infertility

These girls were my lifeline during our toughest times. They let me cry, vent and yell and I couldn’t have survived without them. It helped that Kelly had been through struggles of her own and she selflessly helped me every step of the way. Blair picked me up off the floor more times than I can count and Jess was always there to listen. 



Good morning gang and happy Monday!

Today’s post is a topic I seem to get asked about a lot and since it is National Infertility Awareness Week, I partnered up with my IVF Center, CCRM, to chat all about it. First up, I just want to be clear that I found and ultimately selected CCRM based on my own research. I first stepped foot into the Colorado (Lone Tree) location almost 3 years ago which is wild to think about since it all seems like yesterday.

CCRM is an industry leader in fertility treatment and research and delivers some of the highest IVF success rates in the industry. It’s why we chose the clinic and I continue to recommend them now. They really are dedicated to helping people who want to have a healthy baby.

Unlike several other fertility clinics that outsource their specialists and testing, CCRM leverages its own data, as well as a dedicated team of in-house reproductive endocrinologists, embryologists and genetic scientists in order to deliver consistent, successful results which was so important to us. 

I shared a few posts detailing my past with Infertility and IVF that detail that whole process in case you have questions about logistics. When I shared my IVF Q&A post a few months ago to bring awareness to an often taboo topic, that was our first partnership with CCRM.

Sometimes, I know the lines can be blurry for readers with sponsored content but this is a topic I hold so dear to my heart, have written about extensively prior and am now thankful CCRM reached out about working together, which shows how dedicated they are in shifting the cultural narrative around infertility.

I chose CCRM for mostly scientific reasons but now working with them in a whole new capacity has made me love them even more. They truly are devoted to making infertility a more talked about topic that isn’t so isolating or scary. It’s the same reason I shared my story to begin with!

When I was first going through this experience I felt so alone. Over the course of a few years, I met so many women and men who were experiencing just what we were and it’s what got me through the toughest times.

So, today I wanted to talk about a couple ways you can support friends or family members who are experiencing infertility and/or going through fertility treatments.



Be a Listener

Sometimes it’s great to just listen. Something I found so frustrating during my fertility journey was hearing peoples’ ‘suggestions.’ As soon as you would open up about having trouble or a specific issue, people would volunteer a fool proof diet, exercise or holistic treatment that worked for someone they knew. As much as I know that’s just a person’s desire to help, it can be so hurtful. It often makes people feel like others don’t understand they have already tried everything! Sometimes it was nice to be able to just talk, cry and think out loud with a friend and not answer questions.



Don’t Say ‘Relax’

Along the lines of the previous point, don’t ask someone to relax. Most likely hormonal issues from stress are not the cause of their infertility and telling someone to relax often makes that more difficult. It can also make someone feel bad about a situation they already have tons of guilt about. 



Connect Friends

Talking to other women who had been through or were experiencing something similar was some of my most helpful communication I had through my fertility journey. If you have friends that may not know each other (obviously check with them first) try to connect them! Several of my friends connected me with acquaintances or friends of friends so I could ask questions about everything from logistics to what to expect. I now try to chat with others who may have questions for me and help out in any way I can.



Be Sensitive

Obviously don’t treat these friends any different or take pity on them, but be aware and sensitive to what they are going through. The shots made my hormones rage and some topics we just too much to handle. There was a fine line of avoiding things that made me feel worse (ie I deactivated Facebook because the pregnancy announcements got old) and not shutting out everything. I still wanted to celebrate my friends getting pregnant, people having babies and those discussions. You know your friends best so it’s important to recognize what they may be upset by and tread lightly.



I hope these insights are somewhat helpful and I know a lot of you I have met online have been through the same journey, some many more times than me so please sound off in the comments on what helped you get through it.

Lots of love to you all and thank you again for all the support we’ve received through this journey! 



This post was sponsored by CCRM. As always, all thoughts and opinions are my own and thank you for supporting issues and a fertility center I hold so dear to my heart!


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